My Day in Redneck Heaven

As many of you may or may not know, I operate a sports memorabilia business. Normally, I purchase my inventory from "runners" (guys who run around hotels, practices, etc...annoying stars for signatures), but this weekend was a little different. Daytona Speedway was putting on a Fan Fest at the track, and since it's only about a 10 minute drive from the house, I thought I would give "hounding for autographs" a try. Despite the fact I got incredibly sunburn, I actually found that I was pretty good at it. I came away with a nice haul of autographs, and I don't think I stepped on a single kid or old lady.

If you like rednecks, you would have had a blast this weekend. I'm a little pissed that I didn't bring my camera, because I there were some hilarious people out there. I think my favorite had to be a teenage boy who was dressed in camouflage, with a cowboy hat and those Uggs boots (which I'm pretty sure are for women).

Meeting the drivers was a pretty good experience. If I actually like racing, I'm sure I would have loved it, but even with only mild interest in racing it was still neat. In terms of fans, it was a slam dunk as to whom was the most popular. Dale Jr. had more twice as many fans as any other driver that. It's kind of crazy considering he has won only twice in his last 98 race.

Here is a quick rundown on how the drivers rated on the JackAss O-Meter

NICEST GUYS WHO SHOULD NEVER BE CONSIDERED JACKASSES- Carl Edwards, Jimmie Johnson, Denny Hamlin, Ryan Newman, Matt Kenseth

GOOD GUYS THIS WEEKEND BUT MAY HAVE A LITTLE JACKASS IN THEM- Michael Waltrip, Dale Jr, Casey Mears, Mark Martin

SEMI JACKASS- Kyle Busch, Martin Truex Jr, Kevin Harvick

DEFINITE JACKASS- Jeff Burton, Jeff Gordon

BIGGEST JACKASS- Tony Stewart