Reality TV Roundup

Can't sleep tonight, so I thought it might be a good time for reality TV roundup. I'm a sucker for this garbage, so here is my take on some of my favorite shows.

The Bachelor

This show has been the talk of the Internet over the last couple of days. If you don't know what happened, let me give you the quick breakdown. Like they always do, Jason (The Bachelor) narrows his harem of women down to the final two. They whisk them off to New Zealand for romantic dates, blah blah blah and is on the fence on whether he should keep faux blondie Molly, or former Cowboys cheerleader Melissa. Then out of the blue the producers decided that it would be a good idea to bring back DeAnna (the chick that dumped Jason in the last season Bachelorette) and see if he would be willng to go back with her..

Let me start by saying I loathe this woman. She is an attention whore if I've ever seen one. This now marks the 3rd time shes been on this ridiculous show. It was pretty obvious to me that she definitely got on the Hostess Pie and Cake Diet, because when she walked out of that limo her booty looked like she had packed on some pounds. Nonetheless, the previews made it out to be much more dramatic than it really was, and in the end she only spent about 5 minutes on camera as he said thanks but no thanks. At least she got a free trip to New Zelaand out of the deal.

The show continues and Jason (who I'm pretty sure is a total dork in real life) decided to pick Melissa the cheerleader and proposed to her to boot. Nothing too dramatic or groundbreaking happens, just your typical Bachelor broken heart.

The real drama happened at the "After The Final Rose" show which takes place about 6 weeks after the taping of the show. Unlike most shows, they didn't have a studio audience, because as jackass host Chris Harrison said, "Your about to witness something so shocking that out of respect for those involved.....". For once, they didn't lie and the word "shocking" actually lived up to it's meaning as Jason breaks off the engagement and dumps Melissa on the show. Not only that but he tells her that he's still in love with Molly and would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't try to get her back.

This was train wreck TV if I ever seen it. Clearly this whole thing was setup, and even though I don't really care about these peoples emotions since they are stupid enough to believe this this whole falling in love and getting engaged in a month thing really works. I can even say it was jackass move to do this on TV. Melissa is totally shocked, calls him a bastard, and storms off. I'm not sure why she gave him the ring back, because if that was me I would have pawned that sucker off for the 20k it's probably worth. Come on, you just got dumped on TV in front of millions of people, I think she at least deserved that out of the deal.

As the show goes on and they bring out Molly who has no idea about what happens. When he tells her that he dumped his fiancee and wants her back, the look on her face was priceless. It went from "You can't be serious...this is a joke right" to "This is the greatest day in my life...I love you even though you dumped me on TV 6 weeks ago". So, they make out and the live happily ever after.....until the break up in 3 months.

American Idol

They made a few changes this season which I think have all worked out pretty well. The biggest thing has been the addition of Kara Dioguardi. She's the new judge and it's nice that Idol decided to add some eye candy to the show. She is not drop dead gorgeous or anything, but she is cute in the, "That's the type of hot chick that I can pick up" kind of way. The fact that she doesn't appear to be out of your average guys league is really what makes her hot. That the fact that she's sitting next to the drugged out Paula on a nightly basis.

As for the contestants, this is a very weak group. It's pretty clear that the producers are pushing stories behind these performers (Dead wives, Single Moms, Blindness) rather than their actual ability. So far, my two favorite people on the show are Jorge and Anoop. These guys have more hair on their eyebrows than most people have on their head.

This guy Adam Lambert has been the early favorite, but there are a ton of pictures circulating the Internet of him making out with dudes, so I'm not sure he is going to win the hearts of America.

My pick: Lil Rounds



Hells Kitchen

Again...great show, terrible contestants. Could they really not find any better cooks than they did for this show. I know the fact that they suck is why the show is so funny, but to think that one of these people is actually going to run a restaurant at the Borgata is pretty scary.

Even though the mean British guy has been played on American Idol, Gordon Ramsey's hissy fits are still gold. He reminds me a lot of Jack Bauer on 24, except that he's allowed to cuss. I never get tired of him telling the contestants to "Piss off" at the end of every episode. Classic.

I'm finding myself cheer for "Danny". He's from the Daytona Beach area and even though he's kind of cocky and still living in the 80's with that hair cut, he seems to most competent of all of them.

Survivor/Amazing Race

It's pretty early in the season to make a judgement on these shows, but I was tickled pink when I found out the real "Ned Schneebly" from School of Rock was a contestant on Amazing Race and Eddie George's wife and former SWV singer, was going to be eating beans and rice on Survivor. C-List celebrities never do well in these things so I guess I'm pulling for them right now.